Chasing Jenna Page 5

  “You’re so tiny.” He said under his breath and started down the path again. He cleared his throat like he was about to say something but kept walking.

  “Yes?” I asked, trying to encourage him to speak. He stopped and turned toward me, running his hand over his face while a frustrated growl escaped his mouth.

  “Awkwardness doesn’t suite you.” I teased as I pushed on his hard chest just enough to make him sway. “What do you want to say?”

  He smiled and looked away, obviously trying to choose his words. When his eyes returned to mine, his expression turned serious.

  “I’m really sorry about Saturday night.”

  Oh shit. I almost choked on my own tongue; or maybe I had unknowingly swallowed a tennis ball because that’s what it felt like. Was he really going to talk about this? Right here? Now? I might die if this conversation continued. I looked anywhere but directly at him, hoping to develop a quick escape plan – maybe fake a heart attack.

  He continued, even though I internally begged him to be quiet. “I really didn’t have any intentions of trying anything … out of line.” He sighed nervously, it was adorable. My insides instantly softened. This magnificent man was standing in front of me, offering something I’m sure, he rarely offered to anyone, an apology.

  I tilted my head and smiled, recognizing in this moment, a small-town girl that stood a good eight inches shorter than him, might have a little power over Cale Davis, once again.

  “Really?” I linked my arm around his and started walking. “You mean you didn’t intend to sweep into my life like Prince Charming with the intention of stealing my purity?”

  He bumped me with his elbow, leaned in and whispered into my ear, “I said that wasn’t my intention, but once I got there and saw you in those sexy sweatpants, well, every guy has his limits.”

  He was teasing, his voice low and sensual making my whole body tingle. I glanced up at his lips–remembering how soft they were and quickly looked back down. Power shifted back to the rightful owner.

  He chuckled at my sudden shyness, untangling his arm from mine and throwing it over my shoulders like he owned me.

  Guiding me into the building, we stood just inside the main entry. The sea of people coming and going from class parted and moved around us as we stood our ground.

  “Your class is on the third floor,” he said as he pointed to the stairs. His eyes were focused on me, concern crossed his face. My heart swelled in my chest, loving the feeling of having someone worry about me.

  “Thanks. I’ve got this.” I said while readjusting my bag on my shoulder. “Will I see you later today?”

  He was quiet. His eyes slowly scanned my body like this was the first time he had seen me. He closed the distance between us. I placed my hand on his chest, just to touch him, not really understanding why I needed it.

  “I’ll be fine.” I looked up at him, trying to conjure up a look of confidence.

  “Maybe I should walk you to your class.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him.

  “Cale, I’m a big girl and I can find this room on my own.” I said politely as I held my ground. I wasn’t some young girl on my first day of high school. Even if his concern was sweet, I needed to do this by myself.

  “Of course you can …”

  “Hey Cale, what’s up?” A low voice from behind me interrupted us.

  Cale released my hand, reached past me and shook someone’s hand. “Hey little brother,” he said, “Do you have class in this building?”

  I turned slightly to make room for Cale’s friend to step in closer, smiling as I glanced toward him. My breath caught in my throat, I turned quickly back to Cale.

  “Yes sir, beginning journalism.”

  Oh no ... no, no. I held my breath, preparing for what I already knew was coming.

  Cale patted him on the back and relief washed over his face. He smiled down at me.

  “Jenna, this is Ryan Kitson, he’s a first year in our house. Ryan, this is Jenna.”

  Silently cursing my inability to hide my emotions I braced myself to look at him again. I knew I was biting my lip, but didn’t care. I looked over my shoulder to greet him, smiling timidly. Ryan nodded in my direction.

  An awkward silence stretched out between the three of us. This Ryan guy was hot … super-hot. I suddenly wondered if there was a secret lab somewhere here, producing beautiful alpha males. If there was, I wouldn’t tell.

  Where Cale was perfection, Ryan was rough and hard. Cale was Khakis and polos, this guy was baggy jeans and fitted tees. Even though the normal time to shake someone’s hand had passed, I turned and stretched my hand out to greet him. He gave it a quick glance before he gently wrapped his large hand around mine. The second his rough hand touched mine, I was sorry I had offered it. My face was burning and my stomach doing flip flops. I said a quick prayer that Cale could not read my thoughts. They were not something a nice girl would think and I was pretty sure Cale thought I was a nice girl.

  “Very nice to meet you Jenna.” His deep voice touched somewhere deep inside of me. A well-spring of emotions flowed through me. I fought off a small shiver. “I think I’ve heard Cale mention you a time or two.”

  “Oh?” I said with a quick glance toward Cale. I’m not sure what emotion crossed Cale’s face. Oh no, he can read my thoughts. He would have superpowers like that.

  Cale cleared his throat. “My class is across campus. Do you mind if Ryan walks you to class?”

  He looked at Ryan, “She has the same class as you, could you make sure she gets there?” Ryan smiled and without hesitation said, “Sure.”

  Cale turned toward me, “I will talk to you later, okay?”

  “Sure. I’ll be around.”

  He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, turned and left without saying anything else. I was stunned. I stood there following him with my eyes.

  Ryan let out a low laugh, “You may want to close your mouth.”

  I snapped my mouth shut and looked in his direction. “Did you see that?” I asked him, pointing in Cale’s direction. He laughed again and shook his head. “Come on, let’s get to class.”

  >CHAPTER SEVEN<

  The doors to the classrooms started opening as the earlier classes began to get out. The new flood of students made it even tighter in the hallway. I took a step closer to Ryan, hoping to avoid being swept into the passing crowd. He looked down at me with a smirk, “Cale was right, you are little.”

  I tried to take a step back but there were just too many people coming and going through the entryway to get much distance between us. “Ever think that you two are just built like linebackers?”

  “Maybe,” he said as he maneuvered behind me, guiding us through the crowd to the stairwell. “But you’re still little.”

  I stepped onto the first step, waiting for the people ahead of me to move. When he leaned in to talk to me from behind, his warm breath rushed over my skin.

  “It won’t be this crowded in a few weeks. People will drop classes or find different ways to get to where they’re going.”

  I followed the crowd because I didn’t have much choice. There was only room for two streams of people – one going up, the other coming down. People weren’t shoving but there were too many people in too small of an area. You couldn’t help but feel like you were on top of each other. I kept my eyes down on the steps. The noise of the crowd was deafening, the sound from the upper floors spilled down to the bottom. It was total chaos.

  I stepped onto the first landing and waited as the crowd paused, not noticing the shift in the mood until it was too late. The yells quickly became more intense. People in front of me started backing up, but the people behind me didn’t know that. The entire crowd shifted and I was caught in a wave of people. A firm hand grabbed my arm, helping me regain my balance. Suddenly the realization hit. There was a fight happening right in front of me and I was trapped. Panic took over. I started pushing back; I had to get out of here. I frantically searched
the crowd, looking for any break between people to make a run for it. But there were too many people – too many bodies. There was no way out. I could hear fists connecting with flesh. Dull thuds, followed by struggles to get away. The sound of violence was something you never forgot. I covered my ears and closed my eyes tight. I could envision the blood. My mom’s blood. My blood.

  Grabbing me, Ryan pushed through the crowd and shoved me into the corner of the small landing. He pinned me against the wall holding me with one hand up against his back, while he watched what was going on. I grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and buried my face, tears streaming down. No, not here, not now.

  I just needed to be quiet, I needed to be a good girl and this would all go away.

  Ryan turned and glanced at me. His eyes squinting at me with concern when he saw the terror on my face. “Hey, I am going to get you out of here, okay? You’re safe with me.”

  I couldn’t respond. I just stood there, holding onto his shirt, shaking like a child.

  He turned to face me, blocking everything out of my sight. I laid my forehead on his chest. The feel of his arms around me calmed me for a second but panic surged when I realized he had turned his back to the threat. “You can’t see, you need to see him!” I yelled.

  “Everything is going to be fine, I won’t let anything happen to you. Hold on to me and don’t let go.”

  He turned once again toward the fighting crowd and reached behind him with one arm, hooking me around the waist. He inched his way along the wall keeping me shielded with his body.

  We moved slowly along the wall until we reached the stairs. He used the arm he had around me to push me to the stairs. I sprinted up them pushing people out of the way until I made it to the hallway.

  My vision narrowed to a pin point down the hall. Everything around me blurred into stretches of colors; helping to focus on the goal of getting as far away as possible. Each step seemed to require every ounce of my energy. I knew I was crying from the ache in my throat, but the only sound that registered was the rapid beating in my chest. My entire body burned from the surge of adrenalin. I had no idea where I would end up but I needed to be away from there ... away from the violence. It’s what I’d been running from most of my life.

  I frantically scanned the hallway looking for any escape. The girls’ bathroom sign caught my attention and I ran toward it. I rushed in, past the girls standing at the sinks and into the stall at the end. I was all too familiar with what was happening and I didn’t want anyone to see it. I leaned my back up against the wall and tried to slow my breathing as I lowered myself to the floor. I closed my eyes, pushing my palms into them until it hurt.

  I sat in the corner watching him. He thought I was playing with my Barbie, but really I was watching him. It was always a good idea to know where he was when his walking got unsteady. He dropped into his chair.

  “Rose!” I cringed at the way he screamed her name. “Get me another beer.” She didn’t respond, where was she? He didn’t like it when he had to repeat himself. I panicked and looked toward the kitchen where she should be. Stupid! I knew better. If I didn’t move, he forgot I was there. But it was too late, he had seen me.

  “What are you looking at brat?” I looked back down at my doll, tears filling my eyes. The chair creaked, oh no, he was trying to get up. I gripped my doll tighter as my body flooded with fear. I focused on the floor in front of me, hoping he was drunk enough to fall over before he got to me. My shoulder burned as he ripped me up from the floor, twisting my arm behind my back. “I’m talking to you, you stupid little bitch.” The slapping noise rang out before I felt the burning pain on my face that always followed.

  “Put her down!” she screamed, running into the room. He dropped me and my bare knees hit the wooden floor, scraping the skin. I grabbed my Barbie and jumped up.

  “Hide,” she yelled and went after him with her fists. I scurried into the hall and pulled open the closet door. There was a small area that I fit perfectly into. He never found me here. His evil laugh floated into my hiding place. He enjoyed this. The grunts and screams slowed. I squeezed my eyes together, hugging my Barbie up against my face.

  I jumped at a loud banging noise, it sounded like when he pounded his fists on the table, but I knew it was my mom. She moaned and it sounded like she was on the floor.

  “You are worthless to me,” he yelled. And the screen door slammed. I didn’t move, frozen in my spot. I knew not to come out until I heard her. I don’t know how long my Barbie and I were in there before she whispered my name. I pushed the door open, crawling out and rushing into the other room. She lay on the floor, next to the table.

  “Mommy,” I cried. I knelt down to her and with my little fingers I tried to wipe the blood from her face as tears streamed down mine.

  “Shhh, Jenna. I’m Okay,” Her words were strained and she sucked air in like I was hurting her when I helped her sit up. I climbed onto her lap.

  “I’m sorry Mommy, I shouldn’t have moved, I should have been invisible.” Her trembling hand ran down the back of my hair.

  “No baby, it’s not your fault. Now you don’t worry about this, you are starting first grade tomorrow … you will be safe there all day.”

  “Jenna!” Ryan yelled.

  I heard the gasps of the other girls and the shuffle of their feet as they scurried to get out of there.

  I didn’t want him to find me, but I didn’t want him to leave either. He slowly pushed open the door of my stall. I laid my head back against the tiles, my cheeks wet with tears, eyes shut tight. I heard him take a deep breath and felt his presence in front of me. I waited for the questions. It was always the same thing. What happened? Why did you react like that? What’s the matter with you?

  I jumped when he used his fingertips to wipe the wetness off my cheek. He was leaning on one knee in front of me. His eyes didn’t show pity, only concern. Another tear fell but he caught that one too.

  “I’m here,” he said softly. “No one’s going to hurt you.” I nodded my head and wiped the rest of the tears from my face. He reached out with both hands and helped me to my feet. He pulled me to his chest, wrapping me up in his strong arms, “You’re safe, I can promise you that.”

  I inhaled a ragged breath. His grip loosened as I gently pushed away from him.

  “Give me a second?”

  “Are you going to be okay if I leave?”

  I nodded up at him and tried my best smile, which must have been pretty pathetic, because he tilted his head and gave me a questioning look.

  “Really, I just need to pull it together.” He nodded this time and left me standing there by myself.

  I stared at the reflection in the mirror. I was so messed up. My mom was right; this was my only chance at making a life for myself. If I continued to let the demons resurface, I was as good as dead. Maybe not physically, but emotionally dead for the rest of my life. I couldn’t allow that to happen.

  I grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser and wiped the smeared make-up off of my face. I reached down into my bag, reapplied mascara and called it good.

  Ryan was leaning up against the wall, his eyes on the ground. He straightened when he heard me come out. I felt the flush of embarrassment starting but to my surprise it didn’t last long. His eyes were soft and there was no judgment. He opened his arms and I walked into his embrace. After a short time he let me go and we started walking. That was it. No questions, no awkwardness.

  “Are you ready?” he asked as we walked up to the doorway of our first class.

  I forced a weak smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”

  He wouldn’t be so confident if he knew how far from “fine” I really was.

  The classroom was three times bigger than any at my junior college. It was theater style with stairs sloped down to the front where the instructor was set up. Stunned, I looked around wondering what I had gotten myself into. There had to be, easily, three h
undred seats in this room and most of them were filled. Ryan softly placed a hand on my lower back and pointed out two empty seats across the room. I made my way past the other students, letting out a small sigh when I finally reached the seats. My hands still shook, an aftermath of my memories, so I tucked them under my leg. I realized I still had Cale’s sweatshirt on. I tucked my chin down, hooking it under the collar of the sweatshirt, trying to sink down into it. It was a perfect place to hide.

  “Relax,” he whispered.

  Ryan appeared to feel the exact opposite of me. He was more than comfortable as he dug around in his bag, pulling out a spiral notebook, pen and his laptop. People filed by our desks on the way to their seats, most stopping to say hi or to shake his hand. Even the teacher gave a nod in his direction.

  “Do you know the professor?”

  He leaned toward me. “The house sponsors a banquet every year for the faculty. It’s a good way for the “first years” of the house, like me, to get our names out.” His closeness silenced everyone else in the room for me. His blue eyes were fixed on me and I felt honored to have a few seconds of his attention.

  My heart grew suddenly heavy. I needed him to forget about what he witnessed only a few moments ago. This was my new beginning, my new life, and I had stupidly brought the darkness here with one moment of panic. Damage control was needed quickly. I didn’t want him seeing the bathroom scene every time he looked at me. So up went the walls, and out came the sarcasm – my two best defenses. I whispered back as the teacher began with his introduction, “Well, aren’t you the golden boy of the class already?”

  He smiled and shot back, “And aren’t you lucky to be my friend?”

  >CHAPTER EIGHT<

  I leaned back against my chair, slightly winded by the exchange that had just happened. After his quick come-back, something passed between us. His eyes settled on my lips for a bit too long. It was only a second, but long enough for my mind to make up the scenario; him leaning into me, his lips brushing lightly over mine.