Pause

  Pause

  Micki Fredricks

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Texts

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Also by Micki Fredricks

  A Note from the author

  Acknowledgments

  Copyright 2018 by Micki Fredricks

  All rights reserved

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any format without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may use passages for review purposes.

  Cover Design by Robin Harper, Wicked by Design

  Editing by Lori Rattay, Formatting by Best of You Design

  Dedicated to my nephew, Lance Corporal Cody Jeffery Haley

  1996-2017

  I will speak your name. We will never forget. Until we meet again…

  Semper Fi

  One

  Trey O'Brien had always loved spring in the Midwest.

  The cool breeze from his open truck window washed across his face, taking with it the memories of the harsh winter months. There was something about those first few days of the season. The ones when the sun felt surprisingly warm on his skin and made him buzz with excitement. He wanted to think it was the promise of new beginnings but knew it was more likely the promise of bikini season just around the corner.

  He strummed his fingers on the top of his steering wheel, smiling as he rested his arm part way out of the window, and turned up his favorite country song. He’d been driving these dirt roads his entire life and was confident there wasn’t a gravel road within a thirty-mile radius he didn't know by heart.

  Looking around the cab of his old Ford truck, he ran a hand over the worn leather seats. So many memories had started right here. Wild nights with high school friends his Mama still didn’t know about. And adult nights with wild women his Mama would never want to know about.

  He shook his head, laughing to himself remembering all the times he had driven these roads with people piled into the back of this truck. The goal was always the same; look for a place to pull over and drink whatever alcohol his best friend, Andy, had lifted from his grandpa’s liquor cabinet.

  He missed those days.

  Life would be a lot easier if he could go back to a time where all he had to worry about was what girl he wanted to chase around this small town after his baseball game.

  “Every man should be lucky enough to have a truck like this,” Trey thought to himself.

  He turned down the gravel road heading toward his family farm. He and his brother, Jamie, had been working this land since they were old enough to walk. Their father, Jed O'Brien, made sure his sons were on a tractor practically the moment they could pronounce the word.

  Trey’s heart swelled with pride as he slowed his truck to look at the newly thawed soil that had been in his family for four generations now. Even though he longed for simpler days when his responsibilities didn’t weigh so heavily on him, he knew he was blessed to have been born into a family whose roots were buried deep in this community.

  Trey was barely out of high school and Jamie just twenty when Jed’s early death six years ago had thrust the boys into manhood. They had no choice but to take on the farming business their dad had spent his entire life building. Yes, they’d been groomed since their toddler years to take over the farm, but neither of them had been ready.

  They’d fought and clawed their way through the last six years. They had bled together, butted heads, and made some foolish decisions, but they always stood united against the people who thought they would fail. At the end of the day, they were brothers, and there was nothing more important than family.

  The farmhouse that had been his home for the first twenty-three years of his life came into view. Eve O'Brien stood outside surveying what would soon be her award-winning flower garden. She was not only an amazing woman, strong and resilient in the face of her husband’s death, but also known to everyone as a master gardener. She was quoted in the Worth County Gazette as saying, “I never feel closer to God than when my hands are in His dirt.”

  It was a difficult decision for Trey when he moved out last year. Eve had assured him she would be okay and over the previous year she had flourished just like the rest of them. Hosting monthly parties for her book club, spending time volunteering, and offering the farm up for several charities to hold their yearly fundraisers. It seems she had found her passion. Hosting events and helping others is what made her happy and that’s all that mattered to Trey.

  But he couldn’t get over the feelings of guilt he had every time he thought about leaving her alone in that big house. He often wondered after they all went home at the end of the day; did she walk the floors of the O'Brien homestead and feel lonely? Did she long for the days when he, his brother, and their friends filled the place with a level of rowdiness only teenage boys could bring? He knew she missed her husband terribly. He and his brother tried to fill the void in her life as much as they could, but they could never fill the empty boots of Jed O'Brien. No one could.

  When the next farmstead over had come up for sale, and with Jamie and his wife, Lauren, living just two miles down the road, it was too good of an opportunity to let slide. Plus, it gave Trey a chance to work doing what he loved, restoring old homes. He liked the idea of taking something most people would pass by and turning it into something beautiful.

  The gravel rocks under his tires ground out a familiar sound as he pulled into the driveway and parked at the guesthouse. A warmth settled in his chest as he sat for a second, taking a deep breath and enjoying the serenity home gave him. Yes, he owned a house he loved, but this land, these buildings…this would always be what his heart recognized as home.

  The guesthouse sat across from the main house, positioned at the edge of the property tucked into a grove of trees. A slightly sloped backyard gave way to a lazy creek where Trey and Jamie still enjoyed throwing in a fishing line from time to time.

  Trey loved the guesthouse and had spent countless hours there as a teenager. It had been nothing but an old work cabin when his father had given him the keys.

  “It’s all ours as long as you work extra for the supplies. And I’d like to know your plans for the place before you make any changes,” Jed had said as he handed his youngest the keys.

  After that, any extra time Trey could find was spent reworking the old space. He’d torn down walls and added more. He knew the supplies always available to him outweighed the extra amount of time he spent shoveling pig shit or mowing lawns. Still, every Sunday afternoon when church was over and their stomachs were full, Jed would slap a hand on Trey’s shoulder and say, “Well, what work do you have for me today?”

  Working on the guesthouse with his Dad and brother every Sunday became the highlight of his week. Yes, chasing girls, bonfires with his friends, and throwing around the football on Friday nights was great, but in his mind, nothing would ever compare to the
Sunday afternoons he spent with a hammer in his hand and his family by his side.

  Eve waved toward her son and a broad smile stretched across her face as she walked out to greet him.

  “Where’ve you been? You missed Saturday morning breakfast,” she scolded, lightly hitting his chest as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

  Keeping his hands on her shoulders, he took a step back and leaned down to make himself eye level with his petite mom. With a smile on his face and silliness in his voice that had been getting him out of trouble since he was fifteen, he teased, “Mama, I am a grown-ass man. Believe me,” he winked at her, “you do not want to know where I’ve been.”

  Eve feigned offense at his cockiness, but she knew all too well the type of trouble her youngest often found. This town and the surrounding ones were too small to avoid the rumors that circulated about her boys.

  “Goodness, Trey.” She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Will you ever grow up?” Trey slid his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him and laughing as they walked toward the house.

  “Why the hell would I want to do that?”

  His mother shook her head. “When will you find your ‘Lauren’?”

  As if on cue, Jamie walked out onto the wrap around porch of their family home. Eve and Trey stopped their conversation, watching the familiar sight play out before them.

  Jamie held onto the beauty who had owned him since his sophomore year in high school. Pulling his wife, Lauren, to his chest, she giggled and stood on her tiptoes to lay a quick kiss on his lips. She turned away from him, trying to get back into the house.

  “Girl, where do you think you’re going? You come back here and give your man a proper kiss.” He reached out and snatched her around the waist. Lauren let out a yelp and began playfully slapping at Jamie’s biceps in a weak attempt to get him to let go.

  “Stop, Jamie! I need to get those dishes done so Alex and I can get to Mommy and Me Hour at the library.”

  Jamie knew how this worked. He’d been playing this game with his girl since long before Alex was born. He nuzzled into his wife’s neck, loving how she acted like she didn’t have time for him, but knowing exactly what it did to her when he kissed this spot.

  “Alex, baby!” Jamie yelled out, knowing his daughter was sitting on the other side of the screen door watching cartoons, “Tell your Mama to give me a kiss or I will tickle her until she gives in.”

  Without missing a beat, Alex O'Brien yelled out, “Better do it, Mama! Did I tell you he tickled me until I peed last time?”

  Lauren gasped and Jamie froze, his eyes bulging. She looked up at her husband and shook her head. “You didn’t,” she whispered as she leaned into him.

  Jamie smiled down at the love of his life. He thought he wouldn't want her any more than the day they were married, but then she had given him the perfect gift. The sassy four-year-old with blonde hair and brown eyes who had just ratted him out about the “pee incident” even after he had bribed her with not one, but two suckers.

  Man, his girls were a handful, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Alex was not only the mirror image of her beautiful mother but also the person who had breathed life back into this entire family after his father’s death.

  Jamie nodded as he pulled his wife closer and said, “I did.”

  Trey leaned over and whispered in his Mom’s ear, “Not everyone gets a Lauren, Mama.” He kissed the top of her head and released her as he walked ahead.

  “Okay, okay. Enough with the mushing,” Trey yelled. His brother reluctantly moved away from his wife but wrapped a protective arm around her waist. Trey wondered for just a second what it must feel like to have two people you felt such responsibility for. Sure, he loved his family and would do anything for them, but he knew it couldn’t possibly compare to the feelings Jamie had for Lauren and Alex.

  “Well, well. Look who decided to show up for work today,” Jamie teased. “Rough night?”

  Trey gave his brother a full-on smile, raising his eyebrows and laughing under his breath but loud enough for everyone to hear, “Not nearly as rough as I like it, Bro.”

  “Oh, for the Love of God, Trey. Please,” Eve pleaded as she walked past him.

  “And who was the lucky lady this time?” Jamie pressed his brother for information. Trey wasn’t usually the kiss and tell type, but he never lied to his brother.

  “A Miss Kelsey Jones won the prize last night,” he playfully answered as he removed his ball cap, placed it over his heart and gave a small dip of his head.

  Jamie laughed as Lauren crossed her arms over her chest. Smiling she said, “And what prize would that be? The STD of the month?”

  Trey opened his mouth and gasped, but he couldn’t hide the smirk, “Sis! Words hurt! No wonder my niece is…” Before he could finish his sentence with the words, “full of sass,” his favorite voice in the whole world yelled, “Uncle Trey!”

  A bundle of blonde curls with the energy of a squirrel on crack came busting out of the screen door and didn’t stop. Alex launched herself off the steps and into the waiting arms of her uncle.

  “Whoa there, Firefly!” he laughed as he spun her in a circle. He’d called her that since the day she came home from the hospital. When she was born, her blood work had been high on some numbers, or low, he wasn’t sure. Trey could never remember what, but the doctors had sent her home with a blanket that glowed and was supposed to help with whatever it was she needed.

  She had been his little firefly from that moment.

  “Guess what?! Guess what?!” She bounced around in his arms and he knew exactly what she was going to say.

  “Hmm, let me see. You’re going to tell me you ate all of your green beans at supper last night.”

  She paused for only a second. “Yucky, no! I want to tell you …” He put his hand up in front of her face. She hated when he did that, so she swatted it away.

  “No, no, wait. I want to guess. I bet you’re going to tell me your daddy is a big, fat booger-eater because he is, you know? From way back!”

  “Nooo,” she drew out the word in the most dramatic fashion that only a four-year-old could do. “Uncle Trey, that’s not it!”

  “Well, what could be more important, little Firefly?” He tapped his finger against his cheek, looking to the sky like the answer was written in the clouds.

  She threw her hands above her head, ready to deliver the most fantastic news. “Tomorrow is my birthday!”

  Trey furrowed his eyebrows and gave his niece a stern look. “No, no, that’s not right. Nope, tomorrow is not your birthday because you’re not allowed to get any bigger.”

  “I’m already getting bigger. See?” She lifted her tiny arms and scrunched her face together, trying as hard as she could to make an impression. “See my muscles?”

  “Geesh, I guess you are getting big.” He squeezed one of her little arms like he was testing her strength. “Has your dad been making you throw around hay bales in the barn?”

  “Nope, it’s just what happens when you get big. And guess what again?”

  “I don’t know if I can take anymore, Firefly,” Trey said as he buried his face in her neck, acting like he wanted to take a big bite and getting the exact laughing and kicking response he was looking for.

  Between giggles and screams, she yelled out, “I have a boyfriend!”

  All things stopped.

  He pulled away from his niece and laid a hard stare over her shoulder and right at his brother. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  Alex laid a small hand on either side of her uncle’s face, forcing him to make eye contact with her.

  “I said I have a boyfriend and I love him.” Her little eyes searched his face, wanting to make sure he understood her. Trey faintly registered the laughing coming from his family.

  He did not think it was funny.

  “No, you don’t,” Trey said.

  “I do, too. We even sit by each other at the library. Tell him, Mama.”
>
  Trey pointed his finger at his sister-in-law as she laughed and hid behind her husband, “Don’t you say a word, Lauren. Not one word.”

  He softened his voice, looking at his niece. “Now listen, baby. You don’t need a boyfriend. Your Daddy and me, we are all you will ever need. We love you way more than any old, stinky boy could.”

  Alex drew in a deep breath, lifted her shoulders to her ears and whispered, “But Collin is so cute.”

  “Cute? Cute, is he? No way he’s cuter than your Uncle Trey. And what kind of name is Collin?”

  He looked over his niece’s head at her parents. “Collin who?”

  “Trey,” Lauren said softly, “now just calm down.”

  “Collin who?” he asked again.

  His brother kicked at something invisible with his boot, not wanting to make eye contact. “Collin Baker.”

  “What?! As in Adam Baker’s kid? He’s like, what…six or seven?” He looked back at his niece. “Is he seven? He’s too old for you, Firefly.”

  “Trey calm down,” his brother said.

  “Adam Baker is a prick and you know it.”

  “Swear word,” Alex announced.

  Trey lowered his niece to the ground, digging in his pocket until he found a five-dollar bill to pay his fee for swearing in front of her. “Sorry, Firefly.” He mumbled as he absentmindedly handed it to her outstretched hand.

  “Why don’t you and Grandma go check on those newborn kittens we saw in the barn last weekend. Uncle Trey will be there in a few minutes.”